Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
