how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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