we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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