he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
