Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
