Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
