Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.

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  (203): You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace. http://tfl.nu/24s5
  Replies (48) Good night (7150) Bad night (1093)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man

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  (214): Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man http://tfl.nu/xuc0
  Replies (16) Good night (5096) Bad night (693)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??

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  (905): I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet?? http://tfl.nu/qgms
  Replies (145) Good night (2430) Bad night (8592)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.

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  (918): I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical. http://tfl.nu/pf93
  Replies (49) Good night (6330) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.

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  (901): Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives. http://tfl.nu/lbn9
  Replies (29) Good night (4477) Bad night (3508)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.

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  (912): well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing. http://tfl.nu/4jog
  Replies (9) Good night (3216) Bad night (854)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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  (480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959
  Replies (12) Good night (6426) Bad night (1566)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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  (202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew
  Replies (3) Good night (1780) Bad night (669)
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  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED

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  (+41): my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED http://tfl.nu/sryn
  Replies (3) Good night (2187) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...

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  (469): Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it... http://tfl.nu/spt6
  Replies (7) Good night (2662) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.

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  (610): Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school. http://tfl.nu/m6s5
  Replies (8) Good night (2161) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.

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  (615): Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pm20
  Replies (18) Good night (2077) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This is what happens when wu tang raised you

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  (920): This is what happens when wu tang raised you http://tfl.nu/8sl4
  Replies (4) Good night (768) Bad night (366)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.

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  (901): She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right. http://tfl.nu/eqzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1106) Bad night (453)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"

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  (630): Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?" http://tfl.nu/11ab
  Replies (39) Good night (422) Bad night (1230)

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