Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son