Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.

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  (713): Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana. http://tfl.nu/xlmv
  Replies (48) Good night (1146) Bad night (2537)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant

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  (774): if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant http://tfl.nu/blow
  Replies (10) Good night (1291) Bad night (2959)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.

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  (715): I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead. http://tfl.nu/jayy
  Replies (19) Good night (1770) Bad night (3798)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.

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  (630): He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins. http://tfl.nu/5ao1
  Replies (23) Good night (11696) Bad night (1023)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death

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  (206): I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death http://tfl.nu/irfc
  Replies (14) Good night (3658) Bad night (1466)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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  (561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84
  Replies (15) Good night (4851) Bad night (882)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  The chlamydia really affected his face.

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  (907): The chlamydia really affected his face. http://tfl.nu/9z0n
  Replies (6) Good night (410) Bad night (2124)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.

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  (801): Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card. http://tfl.nu/l3ra
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (662)
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  (310): View more from California

  i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now

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  (310): i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now http://tfl.nu/q54p
  Replies (17) Good night (554) Bad night (2237)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message

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  (216): Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message http://tfl.nu/1r6g
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (449)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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  (541): I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out. http://tfl.nu/0h9b
  Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (365)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming

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  (715): Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming http://tfl.nu/sgtd
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (257)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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  (814): I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag. http://tfl.nu/1d0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1030) Bad night (333)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner

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  (608): I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner http://tfl.nu/zwav
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (294)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.

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  (269): I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night. http://tfl.nu/kddg
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (182)

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