Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?

(1-734): View more from Michigan

How did the beer even get there in the first place?

(734): View more from Michigan

That's not what's important right now

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(336): View more from North Carolina

We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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(914): View more from New York

No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

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(518): View more from New York

So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me

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(646): View more from New York

She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once

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