There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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