Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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