how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
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Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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