That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
