Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So much rum. So many feels.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
