Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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