I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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