Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
