he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
