Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
