Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
wanna go halves on a baby?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Randomize
