Christians are straight up FREAKS
just come out here and I will go home with you...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well you can't waste a boner
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
