The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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