Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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