Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
of course. lets lasso hookers.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.