I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.