Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?