is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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