the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
