I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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