I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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