I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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