Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you had me at cake vodka
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
