Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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