I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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