I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
