how can u be prego again
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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