Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
