No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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