You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
