Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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