Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
