I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
3 2 1 whiskey
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize