You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
