hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
