I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
