like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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