What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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