Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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