pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
