I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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