I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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