Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
