everyone is single if you try hard enough
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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