Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
