you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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