good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
