I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
