I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
