we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
