My sheets look like a crime scene.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
