she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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