shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
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She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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