a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
