Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
