Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
