no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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