it hurts more in the daytime
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
