I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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