So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
